COMPLETE VS. ENHANCE
Sometimes I feel a little guilty for charging my clients as they often teach me more than I think I give them. It is only for a brief time though.
Once again, my guides have given me what I need. Linda, I am really in my head on this one. Lollllllllll
As I have mentioned before this is an 8 yr. for me, so I am working on power and control; while being a double 2, commitment and relationships are prominent and therefore getting these clients. Big year. Good year.
While working with a client who has some issue with relationships, she said do you remember the movie Jerry Macguire? I said vaguely, and she said, well Tom Cruise, the hero said to his beloved, “you complete me” and went on talking. Being a little dense, it took me a little while to hit me this is what my client is looking for. They have an empty hole in them, and they are looking for someone, something to fill that hole with. Well, aren’t we all you may say and I say no. We may be damaged and scarred, but we are complete even if we don't know it.
Those of thus who had traumatic, chaotic, and dangerous, relationships as children; never got our needs met because our caretakers never got theirs met so we may end up spending a good part of our life searching for that one person who w will complete us. Our soulmate; that one perfect individual who will make us whole. It is like chasing a rainbow though....you will never find it because it’s an illusion; we are all whole, and complete. My client doesn't see this and closes off themselves emotionally because it is painful to be disappointed so many times. Oh, they are there physically, giving their time, their wealth, being who they think they should be but not of themselves really. Not emotionally! The emotionally unavailable lover, or parent. The man-child we woman so often get attracted to. That woman you somehow never can possess.
I have had a general sit in my chair and cry because he never heard his father say "I love you." I never heard mine either, so I resonate. So this big gaping hole is in us as we think we are unlovable, and we begin the search with no end. We even pass on the hole if we are not careful as we can't give what we don't have; the cycle goes on unless we work very hard to change it.
You know how I love my words....they really do influence how we think and feel and behave. Change the words and often we can change our lives. Ask yourself, if you are having some issues in your relationship(s) am I saying “I need you” or are you saying “I want you”? Think about it hard.
When we say we “need” we are saying we are not whole....you “need” gasoline for your car to run. You may want heated seats in your car in the winter, yet they are not essential to driving your car. You function o.k. without them, well maybe it’s a necessity in Alaska. When we need something, the energy is more desperate for lack of a better word. We are going to hang onto it as it is vital and this is where possessiveness and jealousy come in and make the relationship toxic when it ends. You’ve literally taken part of them away.
When we say we "want" you, then we are saying this is a desire, something that will give me pleasure and make life even better than it may be. We, if we are healthy, we know that we don't always get what we want of course. Wanting doesn’t have the same energy. We can wait for want...need is now. Of course, at times in our lives, we do "need" people. Life is full of ups and downs, and we need support from our friends and loved ones. These people are not "completing us" they are enhancing our lives with their presences.
So try this word on for size ....enhance.
If we are healthy, what we are looking for is someone to enhance us. I am an introvert, I could easily be a recluse, I am serious by nature, as I am in my head a lot. So it’s good for me to have someone is who Is fun loving, drag me out of my hole, have other interests. They enhance my life, they balance me. I am complete, albeit out of balance now and then.
Now, some relationships may give us the opportunity to work out our issues so that we can get rid of the hole in us. Even though some relationships may seem a bit toxic they can give us the chance to ask for our needs to be met, learn to say no and set boundaries if we are open and honest and willing to take a chance....yes...but that person is not "completing us."
If we are looking for them to do this, to do our work, we will be disappointed and hurt. We have to do our own work. If we really love people, we don't try and do their work for them, ask any rehab therapist and they will tell you what results you will get! You don't become an Olympic champion by sitting on the bench. You get up on the high bars knowing you will fall and get hurt sometimes, but you pick yourself back up and get back in the game.
No one can make us happy! They can add to our happiness, our joy, give us support when we need it, but they can't complete us. We are whole.
No individual is going to fill that emptiness in us but ourselves. We do this by reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that we have walled off to feel safe and disconnect from the pain of the past. No one is saying it is easy.....been there, doing that....and am blessed with a lot of great friends and healers in my life to show me the way. They are guides, and mirrors and mentors; they don't do the work for me. I am truly, truly blessed.
The first place to begin is to reconnect with your soul and your higher source. Find that place in you where your soul resides. During your meditation or quiet time close your eyes and find that place where you can feel your soul. It's there. Let it fill your entire body and connect with the body that houses it.....bring down the light from above and connect it to your soul and let all of that fill your empty hole. Love yourself. Just love yourself. Easier said than done, I know.
A couple of years ago I was introduced to soul retrieval work, and it is really wonderful. Several of our practitioners do this kind of work, and you can't go to the website or call me to see which would be best for you. Really made a difference in my life. (That's another article) Also Reconnection work with Joan Fowler www.dove333.com, but like anything else, this only works if you are willing to do your part. We are merely lightworkers and guides, we help you find your way, you must have the courage to walk your own path.
With the heat of summer upon us, all the astrological alignments and sheer craziness that is going on in the world I think we need to jaw a little about anger.
•Life is always about us...not the other guy. •We are here to raise our level of consciousness, not his. •We have choices whether we know it or want to acknowledge it. •They may not always be good choices, but they are choices. •We are responsible for own feelings. •We have no control except how we choose to respond to the stimulus presented to us. •Justice is ambiguous and depends on what side of the table you are sitting. •We reap what we sow. •When you mother told you to quit crying over spilled milk, she didn't mean your sippy cup.
A dear friend said to me he didn't see any advantages to getting older and indeed there are some drawbacks in the physical embodiment department yet what, hopefully, we gain in the emotional, psychological, and wisdom department outweighs the extra pounds we may put on and our slower gait.
With a Mars in Scorpio. Tends to not just volatility, when combined with the fire of Jupiter, but severe destruction and temper. Being the late bloomer that I am it took me a long time to figure out this was not getting me the results I wanted because I am stubborn and if someone “tells me” I just naturally rebel...really don’t like being told what to do, ask me, fine, tell me....bad idea.
Bite your nose off to spite your face....familiar with that. Being right at any price....know that one too.
When my logic and persuasion didn't work, then I would get angry because I did not have control and then I would really screw it up. Then I would wonder why things were not going the way I wanted them to. I would rally life is unjust, and true it often is. I would get upset and angry because someone had more than me, and they did and even when I worked harder than they did. How come so and so got that promotion, the guy doesn't work as hard as me and kisses rear all the time, no values any more sort of thinking. I did realize I was not getting what I wanted out of life. I saw that other people had what I wanted and I didn't know why. For a while I told myself I don't want this, I don't need this, but you know being dishonest with yourself doesn't work very well, stuffing feelings causes more resentment eventually. Resentment is anger stuffed. It will ultimately come to the surface and ultimately destroy us.
Can't tell you exactly how it started, when it started, read something here, someone said something there, and I began to see a picture, little by little. It was me not the world; not them. I was reaping what I sowed. Takes a while for a crop to come in, ask any gardener or farmer. The more you water and feed what you planter the bigger it is going to get then one day you will harvest it.
Anger is powerful energy; it has its place. Anger is the energy that gets us past fear. Maybe it was when I read some of David Hawkins works it started to hit me. Anger can be beneficial....anger is not inherently wrong. Nothing is intrinsically wrong, it is how and when we use it and why that determines it's value.
People who are truly powerful do not need anger.... forceful frightened people use anger to bludgeon others down. Anger is a sign of weakness, not strength. That one was not a revelation I cared to make believe me. It takes no talent or grace to use the energy of anger. Now to control our emotions, to let go of addiction some get to their anger, takes character and inner strength especially for those that it comes naturally too. If you had a fearful childhood and never felt any power, or anyone listened to you then more than likely anger is either something that terrifies you or what got you through your childhood. Then came along the pop psychology of A-type personalities and holding your anger in would kill you....well that is the same crowd that said margarine was better than butter....now proven wrong. Maybe that is true in one sense, but the goal is not to get angry, to begin with....to be neutral so you can make thought out decisions choosing behavior that will get you the results you want without destroying everything in sight.
Maybe some people mastered that in previous lifetimes, so it is easier for them. Some people have to be encouraged to let their anger come up, as I say it is the energy that gets us past fear and to courage but after that we need to let go of it.
We don't always understand not everyone feels things the way we do or don't do. Some people are very energy sensitive, others have good walls and barriers, or maybe they just don't get it.
I had an anger addicted stepmother....it was awful...I am an empath. I learned, in order to survive, to tune her out. I didn't listen to anything and went inside myself. Dahhhh guys maybe you are not getting the results you want because other people are doing the same thing.... doing their best to survive and tuning you out, so you think you are supposed to turn up the volume....wrong doesn't work that way.
Then you take a hard look in the mirror where you see a bully, maybe. Now that one was tough to deal with, let me tell. I realized my anger was making me a bully and I was bullied as a kid; it hurt. I judged those bullies, and here I am doing the same thing. That was a reality check I did not like at all !!
You get rid of your anger by feeling it...simple...HOW DOES IT FEEL..you don't observe it: it is not out there, you feel it inside you, and you ask yourself how do other people feel it ..how do you feel after an outburst....are you getting the results you want from it? Short term you might. Long term....how’s that working for you? We throw anger into the universe we are going to get back anger or people being afraid of us, and we wonder why. Like, attract likes. If you are suspicious and fearful, then you will manifest fearful and suspicious people in your life. It is the law of attraction. Goes both ways, you don't attract good stuff if you are throwing out the bad stuff.
You ask yourself, WHAT AM I AFRAID OF? Why do I need this anger? You stop feeling sorry for yourself, and you accept that IT IS WHAT IT IS, and you have no control over it. You stop blaming the other guy, and you ask yourself, what am I suppose to learn from this unfair miserable situation. You accept you may be reaping what you have sown in this or a previous lifetime. Maybe you were the perpetrator, and now it's your turn to be the victim, and you let yourself feel that, and it isn't right and you make a choice now not to treat other people with respect and stop bludgeoning them with your anger, even that telephone spammer, o.k. that one is, but I am working on it.
This doesn’t mean you don’t stand up for yourself or what is right and wrong. If you are connected to your higher self and spirit, then you have an unlimited source of pure, unselfish energy. The goal is to be able to be neutral, to have tough love when you need it.
Running My Mouth Again – Karma Clearing and such
I just got off the phone with a very nice woman looking or an aura clearing as she had blocks, which is sort of an ambiguous term, so I asked to be a wee bit more specific as to what she wanted cleared.
Well, it seems that she is not making progress in her life; she knew she had something she was supposed to do but not exactly what it is was and felt frustrated because of it. She had gone to a fellow who had done an aura clearing on her and it seem to help for a short time but didn’t last and he said he had cleared her Karma debt but it wasn’t working apparently, as she was still stuck, and maybe she had a generational curse that had to be removed.
Now that is a whole bunch of stuff the woman needs to deal with, just like all of us have to, and a whole bunch of questionable theory she was told about what an aura clearing could do. No brag, just fact, she felt a whole lot better after talking to me, so I think maybe I need to share my questionable theories with you so you get better results with the modalities you try and not waste your money on some things that can’t be done except by the Blessed Avatars, none of which are reading this newsletter.
Here are a few concepts I ask you to consider. No one can heal us but ourselves. Now there are those who can hold the space for you; can give you information and knowledge that you can apply to your life, so that you can change your limited thinking and behavior, therefore removing the blocks to your healing yourself; connect you to your higher power so you can download additional wisdom and energy from the universal consciousness; send entities that may be attached to the light ; make you aware of the lessons you are to learn in this life so your can free yourself of the Karmic wheel; but no one is going to heal you but yourself! You do that by raising your level of consciousness by changing your limited thinking and behavior. That is what you came into this dimension for.
I have talked about the difference between to know of and to know before. To know is to experience something first hand, to know of is to read about it. We came in to experience life not read about it. We all came into this dimension to raise our level of consciousness. This is everyone soul’s purpose and how we go about that is our individual path. That isn’t an easy trick and we don’t do it in one life time either. Life is just to hard and to complicated...it takes many lives and it takes a lot of practice and strength to overcome fear, the underlying motivation for most of the things we as humans do, as fear is what protects the human body that our souls dwell in. We are fighting ourselves most of the time as Love is the emotion we must replace fear with; the state we are reaching for.
That is how we exercise our God given free will and raise our level of consciousness by making hard choices; to respond from a position of compassion and love and not from fear. And we have to keep making those hard choices until it isn’t even a choice anymore...we just do it.
I know I am not evolved enough to hang from the cross and forgive my persecutors...but I am working on it. That is all that counts...we keep working on it...and keep climbing the mountain and we will eventually get to the top. We eventually do no someone does it for us. An Olympic champion didn’t get a gold medal by themselves; they had teachers and coaches, yes! They had to do run the race themselves and jump the hurdles and lost a lot before they finally won.
No one can cancel your Karma for you! Karma is not punishment. Karma is a lesson. Karma simply says you reap what you sow. You will continue to have opportunities to learn the lessons you came here for and until you do. You will repeat life time after life time the same things albeit in different stories...aka blocks...until you figure out what it is you are suppose to learn and have that DAHHHH/AH HA moment like my Doberman did when she finally figured out she would get a cookie when she did her business outside and not on the living room floor. I think Dobermans are smarter than people as she learned it in one life time and man can take hundreds...dog is God spelled backwards if you didn’t notice.
Can someone help you figure out what those lessons are so you can move on. Yes indeedy. In fact, there are those spirits who come back in specifically to be of assistance...they are teachers and advisors who can bring light to a subject so you can determine the right path to take and “choose” to take that path and change your misguided behavior pattern and stop seeding your life so there is nothing to reap. A choice and a change is required and neither I nor anyone else can do it for you. We can only shed light and support you.
I do not believe we have to atone for our sins in the sense of self punishment. That is a ego driven behavior that gives power to some individuals who like to think of themselves as the chosen ones of some cloth. We have to change our behavior as said in John 5:1–15. Go and sin no more. Do you love your children; your creations? Do you get joy from seeing them suffer in punishment? I hope not. Then why would your higher power do so? Do you realize that your children must learn that there are consequences to their behaviors...of course... and sometimes it is harder on you then it may be on them but you know that is the only way they will learn which takes us back to the “know” and making choices until it is no longer a choice.
So, if someone says to you I can clear your Karma for a fee by spinning my pendulum or doing some incantation they can’t. Can we help you see what behavior has led to this situation so you can change it and “sin no more” ...yes! You stopped sowing seeds! And that Karmic debt is paid. Can I spend a life time of service as an EMT or medical professional to learn compassion for the helpless, who I ignored when I was a Knight Templar, rampaging through villages in the name of God, causing untold destruction and know that I will never raise my hand in anger and greed again? Yes...and this cancels the debt as I will not do this again, I can’t as my beliefs have changed therefore my behavior. Can they send back energy which is in your aura which isn’t yours and drains you...yes...it isn’t yours and doesn’t belong there and the person it belongs to needs their pieces of soul back so they can be whole again too. Can we call back your lost soul pieces that maybe attached to others and draining someone else...yes. This is not healing you...it is opening up the energy field so all that stuff can go back to where it belongs. But...and there is a but...this doesn’t last because every interaction you have you will leave a bit of you there and pick up a little bit of someone else so it needs to be done on a regular basis. Nature hates a void so it will fill up again. Learn to do it yourself. If you have someone do it for you o.k., just know it isn’t a onetime shot and they are not healing, they are clearing for you.
Can the psychics and the tarot readers give you information that will shed light on difficult relationships...everything in life is a relationship.... yes, but it is up to you to change what isn’t working for you, find a new method or belief and manifest it. If you chose to try and manipulate and control another soul by delving into spells etc. know that you have set Karma into action and sowed seed of such and don’t be surprised if you lose control of your life...DAH If you plant an acorn you will get an oak not a weeping willow no matter how hard you wish and pray. God gave us free choice and if you try to surreptitiously over ride another’s be warned you have tried to take away a gift of our creator; you have stepped into the realm of darkness and God cannot be in the darkness for he is the light itself and you will be alone.
Because someone is a psychic or a medium or an empath and can channel information from the Universal Consciousness, your angels and guides this only means they may know what your issue(s) are/ is and can help you define the issue. It does not mean they are healing you and the person who says they are a healer and can heal you is coming from their ego. They are a teacher, a guide, a counselor. They can shine light in the darkness so you can see where you need to make changes in your physical or spiritual being so you can heal yourself. Sure I can tell you your core issue is anger say, which is giving you energy to overcome your fear but it is you who needs to face your fear and move through it and that takes strength and courage and I cannot give that to you. You have to build it. I can tell you how to do it, what worked for me and others but you have to do the work. You have to heal yourself. Even the finest surgeon does not actually heal you. They remove stuff that doesn’t need to be there or repair broken bones and realign thing...then the body can repair itself. It heals itself. We are support systems not healers. This will tick off a lot of people I am sure. You can’t change something unless you own it, so what is the use of having illusions? Magic is an illusion.
In the end you have to accept responsibility for yourself and your path. Only God has the power to heal others. Those who will be your greatest teacher and coaches will be the humble and not take credit for what they are not able, by design, able to do; you who was created in the image of God must heal himself.
Physiology of Fear:
Adrenalin kicks in when we interpret an imminent danger be it real or supposed.
An adrenaline rush---also called the fight-or-flight response---is caused by a hormone release from the adrenal gland. In healthy people, the hormone release consists of 80 percent epinephrine (also called adrenaline) and 20 percent norepinephrine. It is the body's natural coping reaction for activities or environmental situations that are exhilarating, stressful or physically demanding. It stays in your body usually for a short period of time 80-90 seconds unless the stimulus keeps up.
When epinephrine and norepinephrine are released into the body, your body's airways and large blood vessels dilate to funnel larger amounts of oxygen, glucose and blood to the respiratory system, muscles and brain. This hormone release also increases your heart rate and blood-sugar levels, improving the body's performance for the short term. Those experiencing adrenaline rushes typically feel temporarily stronger, faster and more tolerant of pain.
While the stress response is an important part of managing fear and excitement, an adrenaline rush can produce feelings of anxiety, tension and panic---also part of the body's fight-or-flight response. That's why it's important to allow your body to work off the hormones released during an adrenaline rush. When you encounter a high-stress situation that does not include physical activity, you may be faced with lingering hormones that cause jittery, anxious or sleepless feelings. Some people may experience harmless side effects during the hormone release. What you want to keep in mind is, they are harmless…and will go away in a very short period of time if allowed to. These effects may include severe sweating, trembling in the extremities, knots in the stomach or an inability to speak, which typically resolve after the body returns to a normal metabolic state.
Cortisol: Faced with "life or death" situations, cortisol increases the flow of energy (glucose, protein and fat) into the bloodstream in order to increase physical readiness When stress hormones are released it comes at a cost. Cortisol has the effect of closing down the body's natural repair systems in order to deal with the immediate problem. When released, it suppresses our ability to rest and dampens the immune system in favor of supplying energy. This can have long term implications for the body which include: suppresses neurotransmitters in brain =depression, increased eating, depresses immune system
The genes know to influence the narrowing of blood vessels are affected by cortisol. The greater the supply of cortisol the more continuous the narrowing of vessels becomes. In turn, blood pressure starts to rise and the health risks associated with high blood pressure, notably heart disease and strokes, increase.
When you perceive a threat, now or in the future the body will do its job and it will release the chemicals it needs to help you deal with the threat. Anxiety vs Fear
Anxiety is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior, such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints and rumination (going over and over some thought in your head). It is the subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over something unlikely to happen, such as the feeling of imminent death. When you dig into the foundation you will find what you are really saying is “I can’t handle this situation”, note we don’t have anxiety in situations where we feel we are in control of them.
Anxiety is not the same as fear, which is felt about something realistically intimidating or dangerous and is an appropriate response to a perceived threat; anxiety is a feeling of fear, worry, and uneasiness, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing. It is often accompanied by restlessness, fatigue, problems in concentration, and muscular tension. Anxiety is not considered to be a normal reaction to a perceived stressor although many feel it occasionally.
There are real threats in our lives and have been since the beginning of time. This is not going to go away. They just change their appearance. What our goal is to be in control of the situation and not be at the mercy of our hormones whose intentions are of the best, but not necessarily effective. We want to “keep” our head, use our head, and let our head get us where we want to be. Most of us will have very few real physical threats to our wellbeing in our lifetime. The problem that has most people suffering is the big and little T’s (traumas) we come across in our lives…many of which have been in the past and we are unable to let go of. Anxiety is a threat that is based on past situations projected into the future. When I was a child my grandmother called me Soni, if she said Sondra I knew I was in trouble, if she said Sondra Louise I knew to hide under the bed or run….well even as an adult when someone would say Sondra my first response was that twinge of fear, uh oh, I am in trouble even into my 60’s.
Chronic anxiety comes from thinking we can’t handle the situation, we will fail, we will be humiliated, all those thoughts that say I will fall apart, I will die.
We have two distinct aspects here…the thinking, and the psychological response. The thinking triggers the physiological response and that in turn stimulates the thoughts. We have to break the pattern.
Our Mind and Body are entwined you can’t just address one issue…there are many aspects to be addressed and all need addressing. Where do you begin?
When adrenalin and cortisol are constantly in our body it is stimulating us, we have to discharge this energy. Animals will do it by shaking. The first time I saw this I thought my Doberman was having a seizure after he got into a real fight with my Great Dane who was double his size. I got them separated and poor Harry, the Doberman who had run in the garage just stood there and shook for several minutes, I thought he was having a seizure. Not until a few days later when I saw a program on National Geographic on predators did I understand that was the animal’s way of releasing the adrenalin in their systems. It has to go somewhere and if you are not running away and using it up, you have to do something with it and they do. Now humans on the other hand are not as smart, frankly. We will keep a stiff upper lip, we will deny the situation, we will stay in a situation of perceived danger (stress) for long periods of time and not do anything with the energy we are creating. Adrenalin, cortisol response creates energy for you to handle the imminent danger. In this day and age we don’t have saber tooth tigers running around all the time but a boss who has the power of life in death, your job, and the food on your family tablecan be just as potentially dangerous.
When we take in information, the situations we remember, make memories, we take that information in with all of our senses, including our emotions and store them in our long term memory banks…our unconscious mind. If we are unable to discharge the emotions, the energy created by the chemical response we are setting ourselves up for trouble, physical ailments, psychological ailments.
We have to take a multi prong approach.
We need tools to discharge the energy….
1. Eft 2.Relaxation techniques, self-hypnosis, deep breathing techniques. 3.Change our way of looking at things, change the triggers that bring on the stress 4.Work on our thinking. 5.Get one on one help and join support group if needed
We need to heal our bodies from the years of stress:
1.Sleep is the beginning…this is when your body heals itself, sort information, etc. 2.Nutritional Support, repair the damage from constant cortisol in our system and adrenal fatigue. 3.Exercise 4.Do somethings for the sheer pleasure of doing them.
Soni is running her mouth again.....
Listening and Hearing - Healing...
Have we talked about this before? If we did, probably some listened and maybe some heard. Even when you are an old soul and "know" as opposed to "think" or "believe" there is always something more to learn since we are still in body....and body is where we experience emotions...(our own emotions as well as other people's emotions especially if you are empathic) which in turn makes the Holidays a mixed bag for many, including me.
At this is a time of the year we are "supposed" to be joyous and upbeat and some are and there are those that are really having a hard time dealing with all the expectations and emotions. It's a season of joy right?. Let's just keep it all happy....don't want to hear it depressing to some; it's easier to try and ignore it. Well if we acknowledge it then we have this need to fix it....it doesn't feel good and we don't want this bad feeling in us so many of us do whatever we can to avoid feeling feelings even if the action is destructive like addictions and cutting ourselves off from reality.
Hopefully, one day we have this "dah" moment and we realize that is why we came to this dimension....to "feel"!! John Travolta in Michael. It is only through feelings that we "know" as opposed to believe and think; intellectual pursuits.....you can't know joy if you have not experienced pain and sorrow. How do you know what light is, if you have not experienced darkness? Sure we can play the computer games blowing up tanks and buildings and fly like birds to get the old adrenalin pumping; trying to feel powerful and in control. Read books and watch movies and escape into fantasy with safe emotions but only so long...the universe has its ways....We still have to deal with the real thing, the emotions our daily lives bring up which are often unpleasant. Oh sure we can keep on avoiding them but we will not learn what you came here for and just keep on coming back.....and doing it over and over and over again...until we get it.....so listen and hear.
For me this holiday week was almost surreal at times. I just had no holiday spirit from day one...highly unusual for me. Oh I put up the lights and decorations for other people, as it was expected. I realize that leaving the fallen snowman with a wine bottle in his hand and the fallen reindeer on the ground was really how I felt, not just something funny to do. I wore my silly hats at work as, it was expected. Why people even came up to me in the halls on Wed and asked "where is your hat Soni" so I put them on. It was expected! Just doing what was expected so by Sunday night I felt like I was in the movie...It's a Wonderful Life because so many of the people I interacted with seem to have lessons for me....they would say something and suddenly there was clarity...and two of them could not even speak.....try that one....
One woman and I reminisced about what really made Xmas and wondered if we could ever get it back as it seemed gone to us. She mouthed words and wrote a little as she had tracheostomy in her throat and I realized during our communication how much tradition is important in our lives...the Xmas movies which we could not find for her, the music no one plays anymore, the greetings no one says, the gift cards so easy to e mail instead of a simple present or a handmade item, or fresh baked cookies that all put together made Xmas. George Town cupcakes are better than what I can bake but did we lose a memory in them? My Aunt Nennie always sent cookies and it was the expectation ....I realized it's the intent of the energy involved like Mrs. M's home baked goodies delivered by her daughters on Xmas Eve. I will always remember those little girls and I doubt the Fed X man with the gifts from Amazon.
It was so sad watching three young children stand next to their forty two hear old fathers bed singing him a song on Xmas night, knowing this was probably their final memory of him, as plans were being made to harvest his organs even while they sang. He was gone, it was only the equipment that was keeping his body alive. It concerned me that I was getting accustomed to this, the night before a similar event with a young father who brought life to others through his generosity .. but what will Xmas bring those two families. It took me a while to recognize my response was a balanced one, sorrow for the loss of these lives and the children's pain, (even though knowing this was part of their path they chose)..Grasping I was o.k. and not uncaring, as I had learned how to control the flame of emotion so it does its job of getting my attention; to know when to take action when to be still, but not destroying me through egos arrogance of taking on their pain. ...
Another person said to me, (who had lost a teenage child a few years back) "Christmas is a hard for us but I have got through another year thinking what I thought my life would have been like, understanding I will never have that seeing pics of things I will never be posting. Just a hard time for us" and accepting there was nothing I could do, ever do for her, except Hear her...
Another patient unable to speak was shortly recognized from a life time past as an old old friend as ( it was bizarre even for me) we hardly needed to talk since I could feel his thoughts, and before I left for the night I asked him if he believed in reincarnation and he nodded yes, and I said I have known you before have I not? He smiled and squeezed my hand tightly and nodded yes. His family was driving him nuts with their attention....well actually inattention as they were focused on their needs not his....and I said to him earlier when I recognized this..."you just want to be heard, to be understood don't you? " and the look in his eyes of acknowledgment and gratitude, that someone heard him hit me like a sledge hammer and I realized this is something most of us want...we want to be HEARD; that someone understands how we FEEL....To be really HEARD.
People listen all the time...but they don't hear...hear on an emotional level. It's often uncomfortable! At that moment I didn't try and fix him, find a solution, heal him, send light intentionally. Yet I connected with his being because I "knew" his feelings. He was not alone in the darkness alone. I had been there, done that, experienced it, got through it and could sit with it and him and his depression and pain and not feel the need to do anything, just hear him as he silently cried out his emotional and physical pain. There was an out pouring of genuine love and healing in that moment of recognition...not produced by word but intention. ....I don't believe anyone is a "healer" of others.... we all heal ourselves. We all have the capacity, if we choose to use it to "hold the space" for another by listening and HEARING and in that process a person can find the courage and strength to heal themselves. We are at best "guides" sharing what we have learned perhaps.
Instead of trying to do something to avoid emotions as there is no place to run to and no place to hide in since we are simply running from ourselves or the mirrors the universe supplies us with, we can stop and listen and hear. We can understand our drugs of choice, the food, the chemicals, the drama, the walls we place up, the roles we take on are simply distractions to our own feelings and feeling are our physical beings way of trying to get our spiritual attention, to deal with some belief or behavior that is not working for us.
First we need to be still and Listen and HEAR then we connect with our higher knowing and figure out what we need to do. We need to connect with ourselves and Listen and HEAR. The modern word for epiphany is DAH! By the way.
The trick is to experience and feel these emotions, acknowledge them; ask what you are trying to tell me and let them dissipate if they are uncomfortable. It is when we fight them by try to ignore them that is when we give them powerful energy....I know it's hard to do, (I am like you, experiencing life, learning from it) yet when you experience emotions fully they expend their energy and then will dissipate....and if they come up again you will find their energy is less and less each time and finally you just say, "I don't need to do this anymore; I got it, I learned, I have a plan. I know what to do. No need to feel this anymore" and you won't. If you ever stopped an addiction you know what I mean. The situation may not have physically changed...but you have and you can move on.
And listening and hearing is how we deal with other peoples pain...we can't fix it...if they ASK for advice we can share what we know worked for us...otherwise we can Listen and HEAR and hold the space for them.
It wasn't a traditional Xmas for me, but one I will not forget. So maybe our New Years resolution ought to be something on the line of Listening and HEARING; ourselves, our friends, the world...
If listening is an art then Hearing takes a great master
Soni is running her mouth again
October 21, 2016
The other day I was talking to Joy Andreasen of www.whispersofjoy.net
about these Super Moons and all the unrest and anxiety so many of us are experiencing and how could we help those around us as well as ourselves. Just because some of us are healers and Light Workers doesn't mean we are immune to all this quirky energy. The Empaths are probably feeling it worse and without a strategy to deal with it, it can be really hard.
During our conversation Joy shared with me a meditation that was working well for her and I tried it with good results.
Not being able to leave good enough alone I added my own visualization to it that I have been using and came up with this composite of what we both do. Think Reese's cups. Chocolate is great by itself, as is peanut butter, but put them together and you have a real winner in my book. Chocolate covered almost anything is a winner in my book when I think about it, now.
I know you have your entire life under control and serenity is the word everyone uses to describe you, but you may have a friend who needs a little help and you want to try it before you recommend it of course so try this visualization/meditation...it only takes a couple minutes. I have used it with several clients this week and myself and got really good results. You can do this standing in the elevator, I know because I have and it really helped.
Close your eyes and envision that place in your body where your soul resides: see your soul. This is a visual. There is no one right visual of the soul. One persons was a beautiful geode that emanated light, another a light of many spectrums, to another a globe that contained beautiful colors with light emanating from it sitting upon a black marble alter like structure. All had light in common and various colors.
Now see the light from your soul expand and intensify; make it very bright, as you allow this wonderful light fill your entire body. Do it slowly so you can really feel the light flowing through you, giving it your full attention; really feel the light fill your entire body quiet and calm.
Now notice that there is a main beam or cord that moves upward from the center of your soul and let that beam (string as one client referred to it) go up through your body and to the top of your head.
Now notice there is a beam of light above your head. Note if it is not connected to your crown then simply bring it down to the top of your head. Sometimes under stress we lose this connection and it will hover above us, pull it down to your crown chakra, the top of your head and now see the light coming from your soul and allow it to flow right up and into the stream of the light coming from above. Just bring them together, they will connect themselves.
Now your soul is connected to your body, (which it needs in this dimension) as well as to spirit and Source. (I have never talked to a client who could not find that light above their head, even non-believers.) Just tell them to see it! They don't have to understand it. They will always see it.
Now see the light coming from you soul (to me it seems like a mist or fog surrounding me) and surround your entire being, going out as far as you wish and spin the light around you to intensify the energy, knowing that this light/energy is protecting you, calming everything in its path, opening up a communication field to a higher source of knowledge. Really FEEL IT. We must feel this, don't intellectualize this; disconnecting from feelings is often our problem to begin with...stuffing, walling off, etc. as we are afraid we can't deal with feelings. Feelings are how our body talks to us, along with visuals and dreams.
This really only takes a minute or two ... you can bask in this feeling as long as you like of course and if you have the time then get into it and see the energy go to those areas of the body that needs healing and concentrate them there. The soul contains the sum total of all your lifetimes and it is now connected to the universe, an unlimited supply of energy and wisdom so you are bringing a lot more with you in this connection than just healing energy.
I did this several times during the day during a very stressful day at the hospital when riding the elevator, making sure the connection was there, pumping up the field around me and even while experiencing the chaos and negative energy all around me. I was able to identify it, not deny it and not put up a wall, not Judge it, BUT instead evaluate it and see what I could do and not do about it....Ah.... I believe this is what the AA prayer says "
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
It is the last line that is the really hard part.
Those of you who work with clients or have addiction issues of any kind might want to make particular note of changes in those addiction issues.
I would love feedback. I have a theory that would take too long to present right now about addiction and connection.
I think the rest of the year is going to require us to stay well-grounded and those that are not are going to have problems.
If you would like to work more with learning how to release those limiting beliefs that are holding you back from reaching your full potential or want to get rid of the hurt and pain you have been carrying around for so long.....well, you know where to find me.
Soni Weiss, Ph.D., CH and Fred (he is the one with the big ears and spots)
August 16, 2016
So interesting how one things leads us to another.....Cici Dotson was demonstrating Bio-Tuning at the Center to a group of us and I had the privilege of being the being the demonstratee. Hopefully (most of you know I am a coach, I facilitate changes in thinking and behavior for fun and sometimes profit...this is one of the fun things, talking to you) Anyway as Cici was doing the releasing (sound familiar) and clearing work I pulled up a visual metaphor, in my head, that had been already established and watched it as she worked on me, to see if her efforts were making any changes in the metaphor/my unconscious perception of how my life was going. (This is one of the tools I use with clients and it is called Metaphors of Movement).
Allow me to digress a bit to give us clarity... We all use metaphors in our speech and thinking (defined as a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable).i.e., he was jumping around like a three legged cat on a tin roof in August; the floor was so clean it looked like polished glass. Notice you understood right away the meaning without a lot words while still getting all the nuances. Most of us relate to “I feel like I am on a merry go round and can’t get off” no matter our age or culture. We get a picture in our heads right away.
The picture....we hear words in our head all the time true; but it is the pictures that are the works horses as the old hard drive (the unconscious that runs our systems) communicates in pictures and metaphors. You did not come into this dimension with language, you learned it; you did come in with senses which initially allowed you to take in information as pictures with feelings attached to them, which in turn you stored as memories which we continue to do and now we have words to describe the pictures so we can share them...cool huh!. Soooooooooo I say if you want to change the behavior which is triggered by the words which bring up the experiences (the past captured in memory) in pictures, change the picture, use the picture.
Back to the beginning.....so as Cici used her tuning forks to release blocks in my aura/energy field and push energy , or whatever they were back into me, the picture changed. My picture/( tube movie, it was small, was of me observing me trying to climb over this wall and I was at the top hanging by my
arms, and not quite able to get my leg over the crest of the wall, sort of stuck there.....for you amateur psychologist out there...go for it....Anyway she would say “Oh...I have resistance here” then do something with the tuning fork and there would be change in the picture and where I was in relationship to the wall....fascinating...well at least to me....and at the end of her session with me I was off the wall and had a totally different picture going on my personal U tube movie in my head.
And you say....Soni...what does this have to do with me...and I say... let me teach you how to use a metaphor for fun and release (remember last newsletter) and the emotion I want to work with is anger. It is well known to all of us. Basic premise......all emotions are energy...we can’t destroy energy we can only discharge it, transform, it transmute it, store it, cage it up, etc. But not destroy it! If we keep storing it, caging it, containing it...it will destroy us though!
A little anger can be what we need to get us past our fear, to give us the energy to get into courage, to take the actions we need to get us out of a dangerous spot....Keep in mind nothing is good or bad it is the context we use it in and the degree that determines it’s value.
What do we do when we have anger and we are unable to displace it; when we don’t know how to safely discharge it or when it isn’t an option....like when we were kids and had abusive people around us say, who we were dependent on for our survival...the proverbial rock and a hard place! The anger can be driving us nuts as we can’t get rid of it by fighting or taking any actions.......soooooooo we stuff it...and we put a lid on it. How many times have you been told to “put a lid on it”? And we did. And we stuffed more into the containers way down inside of us, and added more, and added more, and once in a while when we opened up the container to put more in a little more, a big glob might leap out and wreak havoc all around us. Some of us became afraid of our anger or even looking at it. Yet if we don’t let some of it out,( just like the old pressure cooker of my grandmother’s day which had no relief valve on it) it will explode and that is dangerous. Dangerous to us and everyone around us.
Keeping this visual in mind I say let’s create a relief valve for ourselves. Hold judgment until you have put a real effort into this exercise. I know this is going to sounds silly, but I am telling you it works. Now...this is a powerful exercise so if you have health issues act with caution.
Hope you are reading this in a comfy chair.....close your eyes, plant your feel firmly on the floor, lean back in the chair and take four slow deep breathes and let them out slowly. With each breath be aware of the feeling of the air entering you nostrils and going all the way to the bottom of your lungs....and then slowly exhaling it as your body relaxes into the chair. Good!
Now in your head I want you to see a steel post the size of a telephone pole coming from the ground which goes all the way down to the center of the earth....in other words no way will it come out of the ground....and attached to this pole is a chain the size of an aircraft carriers anchor chain...big big big...and to this chain is a six in thick steel collar that is around the neck of a big dragon. Yes I said dragon.
Now this is a special flame breathing dragon, as it is your personal dragon he is at your beck and call and he will not hurt you....he is your servant and he can’t get lose to hurt anyone...not with that chain and tether. Look at your dragon, how big is he, what color is he, how large are his wings and talons, introduce yourself to him...ask him to breathe out his fire and how far does it go....don’t stand in front of him when he does this though, stand to the side.....see him breathe out that fire, and notice how electricity comes from his talons and goes into the earth. Feel how the temperature around you heats up when he releases his fire; get into this. A magnificent fire breathing dragon he is....give him/her a name if you like. My dragon changes from golden yellow to purple. He is about the size of Clydesdale.
Now pull up some of those old garbage memories, you know the ones, the ones from bullying, of failing to get on the team, from arguments, from humiliating experiences, from physical and mental abuse some of you may have experienced; all the garbage we all have somewhere inside of us that we have store and then quickly step inside your dragon so that you are the dragon, so that you can feel what it is like to be a dragon, feel the power of the dragon, and point your head to the sky and just as if you were a flame thrower open your mouth and feel and see a huge ball of fire jettisoned into the sky....and this ball of fire is fueled by those memories you just pulled up.........all the hurt, confusion, pain, humiliation, betrayal, loss, and grief and whatever other negative feeling you have experienced or can that showed their ugly faces as the cause of Anger....your keep spewing out that flame, see it go way way up in the air and keep feeding the fire with all those awful, miserable, yucky, choking emotions that have been stuffed in those containers and rooms inside of you and dump them into the furnace in the your dragon to be burned up and discharged through the fireball you are jettison out of you....see the lightning coming from your talons going into the earth.....The more detail you can visualize the better. And if you want to cry that’s o.k. too.
The universe will welcome the energy...it has the power, the earth has the power to transform and transmute this energy that has been eating you/ us up from the inside into energy that can be sent back for us all to use to be at peace and happy .
Do it, try it, and do it as often as you need to until there is no more fuel for the flame. Made me feel a whole lot better. Send me feedback on your experience, I am curious how you feel after trying this...and if you can’t do this by yourself, if its scary to you, then book an appointment and I will help with it....
You know sometimes it feels like you just can't win. People, well friends and associates, are want to tell me, on a sometimes too frequent a basis, that I am in my head to much. I remember my grandmother saying "most children's first word is mommy or daddy but not Soni's it was WHY! Obviously I have always been in my head so I don't know why the Guides had to mention it up at Dino's Angel Gallery the other day. If I was not in my head so much how could I learn and share all this great information with you I accumulate in my head?
I got some good feedback on our last little chat about the concept of releasing so I thought I would massage it some more, get the last little bit out of it; look at it from another angle, Soooooooooooo let us mull over these two words ...LETTING GO....say them to yourself in your head now....and notice what was the next thought that came to you?....don't tell you don't know, something always comes up, think harder. For me the first thought was "if only we could" and then a few more came along.
Why is it so bloody hard to let go? How much grief does the inability to let go cause us? How much pain have you personally felt because you simply could not let go of something? A person, a belief, a value, an object, a dream...the past. I am putting my fifty dollars right here on the desk top and saying I bet many of you had a visceral affect when you read that last sentence because you know how much pain you have had, at one time or another in your life, due to your inability to do just that! We just couldn't let go! Which is where a lot of our regrets come from if you think about it, but that is another rambling. I know I ramble you don't have to tell me, like those Guides do.
Let us think about what these two words mean....what pictures do they bring up in your head and what feeling come with them?. It is always the feeling, we respond to the feelings, remember that. Well fear and falling, of course, and loss came right up there to. Loss..... that one almost shouts at you doesn't it?
And we are not supposed to lose anything, now are we? Can't you almost hear your Mom or Dad right now saying "you lost what" "you lost it" how could lose your glasses, your keys, your books, your little sister, the dog........and it's bad what you did! I am thinking really hard here and I can't pull up one memory of someone saying, thank the Lord you lost it! If you let go, you may lose it; that is BAD. And if you are bad then you have to be punished and it never ends.
Ask yourself why can't we seem to "let go" of the past. Well It seems like most of us have this mistaken belief about the past that somehow if we keep rehashing it we can by some miracle change that past, therefore we have to hold onto it and not let go. We can't let go because if we do ...somehow we have lost this opportunity to change it and make it better. No one is concerned about the good past, those are fond memories. When we say holding onto the past we mean those hurtful memories we all have which often have turned into regrets and sorrow.
The past is simply memories if you think about it; it's gone and we are left with pictures, and sounds, and smells in our heads which in turn bring up the feelings in our bodies. Without amnesia or a lobotomy we are not going to get rid of memories.....and we don't want to because we learn from them.....what we do want to get rid of, let go of, is the uncomfortable and painful feelings those memories dredge up. We need to "let go" of the feelings. But how can you do that when "letting go" is BAD. Well, there are several ways of doing this and I would be happy to help you with it for a small fee, you know how to find me...but at the moments we are dealing with words and words create action. So my good friend I ask you to consider this...how about we "release" these feelings. Again, hear in your head as if someone was saying this to you.... "I am letting you out of this contract" and ask yourself how do you feel? Go ahead and just check your body. Now hear in your head "I am going to release you from this contract"...check the body again. I still have the fifty on the desk here as you did not win it last time and I bet you felt different did you! Letting you out of a contract means you didn't meet your obligation somehow and that is BAD. Releasing you from your obligation is not BAD; may even be magnanimous on my part, but it ain't BAD !
When we use the word release (and think in terms of releasing) we are making a choice in a positive way... (it is hard to conjure up negative examples of release.) We have control here... If I release my anger into the wind it can be carried away, if I try and let go of it, it will fall to the floor at my feet and I still have it or I could lose it and it will come back...remember you have to find things you lose or you are in trouble.
Emotions/ feeling... are energy and you can't lose energy, yet you can transmute, transform, and or discharge it ....so the next time you are angry don't try and let go of it, release it. Release it into the ground, visualize yourself discharging it out your hands into the ground....release it....I mean the Sky Gods discharges lightening into the grounds so there must be something to the concept don't you think? . Anxiety can be hard but you sure can't let go of it, because it may take over if we don't have a good grip on it. We can deal with this especially with a little help from our friends.
Our thoughts are our reality and our thoughts are expressed by our words so start changing those words to change your reality to a better one
Soni is Running Her Mouth Again
Newsletter July 2016
Words, words, words, how I do love words. They are so much a part of our lives that we hardly even notice them.
I also like to talk. Just ask any of my friends or co works and they will be happy to attest to this fact.
During one of my jawing sessions with my good friend (Linda Dulicai of http://www.the-healthy-zone.com ), Linda mentioned the attributes of the word release and as usual it got me to thinking which Linda says I do way to much of.
Linda and I were talking about losing weight, more specifically my losing weight, which my friends and coworkers would again affirm and she said "you don't want to lose weight you want to release the weight as when you lose something your inclination is to find it and get it back" (or words to this effect). This is not an article about losing weight, so read on and learn something to make your life easier. That was certainly a jarring thought.... I mean really have you ever lost anything and not wanted to get it back? Not that we are putting reward/ information wanted posters on the telephone poles as to the where about of the 20 lbs. of weight we lost but it does make you wonder why it keeps coming back and finding us over and over again, doesn't it?
Think about the concept of losing some more...we are not supposed to lose things...you got in trouble when you were a kid if you lost your "stuff"...how many times were you chastised for losing a jacket, or books, or the dog got away from you and he is lost. Action must be taken to get whatever is lost back...whatever you lost needs to be found!....losing in any fashion is BAD...you lost the game, you lost the contest, you lost the job any loss is not good!
O.K., so close your eyes for a second and think of some loss you have had or something you lost and then ask yourself how do I feel? Not good, that is for sure; well..... unless it was the old ex-wife or husband, which might be the exception to the rule. Even when we actually do need to lose something like in "lose that attitude" or "get lost before I say something I don't want to" it has a negative feeling.
Now I want you to think of the word release. What happens when we release something? We free it, we allow to go its own way, we release the pressure, we release the balloon and it flies away just like the bird; we release information, we release funds, hardly any of it is negative is it ?.
Try the same exercise again that we just did with the word lost. With your eyes closed think of releasing something, and then ask yourself how do I feel? You will feel it somewhere in your body... (If you do not you need to call me, you are disconnected from your body). I will put money on it that you felt a lot better than losing made you feel. I forgot that one..."you're losing it"...now that is bad.
So what I propose to you is if you really do want to get rid of something that you think in terms of releasing it. If you have say 20, 30, 40 lbs. to lose then why not think of releasing it instead of losing it? Change your thinking about the weight. See it as this excess weight (which is actually stored nutrition) that you no longer need. Look at it as something that once had a good purpose that is no longer getting you the results you want and release it instead of struggling to lose it. Try saying "thank you body for taking care of me." It thought it was helping you by storing the extra weight or protecting you with it. Why be angry at it?
Struggling and fighting ourselves does not make any sense if you think about it, and we are dealing with the unconscious mind here gang, so we need to be respectful as it sole purpose is to keep us alive. Being grateful for anyone's effort even if you do not need or want it will go a long way in getting cooperation. Just say, "thank you but I don't need this anymore and I would like you to release it, now". And in your mind's eye, ( meditation would be even better) see yourself deflating like when you release the air out of the balloon...the air just dissipates. Why do we have to struggle? (but that is another article).
We can release many things. Say we lost an argument. Even when we know we were wrong it could be hard to lose the anger... that emotional charge...it is energy though, so visualize blowing the anger energy into a balloon; the madder you were the bigger the balloon and then just let the balloon go and watch it fly into space.
We can release a lot of values and behaviors that are no longer getting us the results we want also. And if you happen to have some behaviors and values that seem to be causing you problems and you cannot release them by yourself your good friend Soni (of www.soniweiss.com fame) is always here to help you on a one to one basis.
What we don’t know…a story for healers
Soni Weiss, PhD, CH
May 31, 2016
What we don’t know can be more important than or just as important as what we do know as healers and therapists. Real life is often as much or more dramatic as fiction.
This story reaffirms my feeling that regression work can be a vital part to the healing of an individual. Regress means you just have to go backwards not necessarily into another life but in this story both may need to be done at some point. The critical factor for one of the spirits/individuals involved in this real life event is a newborn infant who has no words, no way to communicate and understand what is going on but it does and will pick up the energy around it, all the while not necessarily understand it; will relate all of it to itself as that is all it knows at minute one.
My co-worker was called stat around noon to the recovery room of labor and delivery to do an electro cardiogram on a 24 yr. old who just had a c section to deliver her baby. She said the father who was present had collapsed on the floor. The nurses are stimulating and cleaning the baby as is standard procedure and would normally give the infant to the mother but she is unable to accept the infant as having problems and the nurse tries to get the father to take the child but he is collapsed. The therapist told me the woman was saying she had chest pain and was very anxious and excited. She did the procedure and the woman was quickly transported to the intensive care unit and the baby to the intensive care unit, Tensions as you can figure out are high in the room.
We find out later that tensions are high before they came in, mother and father have been fighting the night before and that morning; lot of interfamily issues with mother in law not like daughter in law; and generally a lot of family issues.
om is received by the ICN unit and shortly she destabilizes and a Code Blue is called. It is around one and they get her back but not for long and again a Code Blue is called and this goes on three or four times in total. She was dead by the 2nd call but no one is going to let this go because she is so young, a new mother and the family is present. Well not dad, as he is in the waiting room. The father in law is there all along coaching her to stay alive, the brother in law is there at bedside too for support but the father can’t stay in the room, nor can the girl’s mother, it is too much for them ….
There are codes and there are codes….most of us are experienced and alas, somewhat hardened to the act of dying….we fight death all the time and sometimes it wins...if we couldn’t stand back and observe without getting to emotional we would be unable to be of service like the father of the child and mother of the girl. It was the father in law who never left her side and if it was traumatic for us, as I say, seasoned vets then I don’t wish to go the place where this man stood. A lot of Karmic debt had to be released in that ICU room as well as made.
Only an autopsy will tell why she died so I am not going to speculate on this…not the point of this discussion. As I said I am a seasoned vet and observe and stand outside of the emotional field but for some reason this one got through for a couple of minutes when I was discussing the event with a coworker and she said the woman never got to hold her child before she died. It was like someone hit me in the chest and I had to turn around and walk away for a few seconds lest I lose it right there. This has haunted me more or less as the child also was never held by its mother and the father didn’t want to hold it either. The behavioral therapist and regressionist in me kept asking how is this going to affect both of these souls/spirits. The living child, who came into this world with all this negative energy, the fighting parents right in the delivery room, the rejection of the grand parent, the mother unwilling, unable to hold her infant as she is dying, the father who could not handle any of this, the obvious judgment of its grandfather of his father, his son, during the unsuccessful resuscitations attempts, the father not being able to support its mother or him….and he being left in the hands of, albeit caring, strangers. All this emotion going on and no words, no way to understand what is happening, bad enough to be detached from your life source and thrown into a new environment but like this….and with no words to ever tell anyone, just the memories of the energy around you. And we wonder why some people have free floating anxiety with no known source?
And what of young mother. She is dying, she doesn’t consciously know it….but unconsously she does, her body is ramped up for survival…she doesn’t want to hold the child but the child will not understand this….if it doesn’t bond with her, will it ever bond with anyone? How will she take this event into her next life? And how she died. I have some real questions about coding anyone this long. I have never had a client in regression that had this type of death so does the spirit understand the intention of those involved or does it see it as a form of torture? I did have a patient whose resuscitation I was involved with that went on for a long time (until a surgeon could arrive) who had mental disabilities and a malformed throat and we ended up doing an emergency tracheostomy on her without anesthesia and being an empath I was sure that she would remember this as we suffocating her with the ambu bag as we breathed for her and then slitting her throat to put in the breathing tube. She had the mental capacity of about a three year old and how else will she see it without help?
I know that we say you have to work out your Karma in this life time and that is true…I agree with that but I also think that knowing what you are dealing with can make it a lot easier. Maybe it will make it easier for this child fifteen twenty years from now to know that it was not “perso
nally” rejected by its mother; that the survival instinct was so great and she knew the child was physically safe that she needed her energy for herself. Will it ever know where that original feeling of unworthiness to even be held originated from? There are a hundred questions with no answers.
I think the regressionist can be of great service in these situations for both the child in this life time and the mother in the next life time. If you had not been there who would even know to look for this type of situation? I think it is very important that we ask in our sessions for access to those lives that will shed light and give information on the problems that we are currently addressing, and not just let the client wander through past lives and hope you run across it.
I also wonder if a medium could contact the mother and help her before she comes back in. I am going to delve into this….the Karma with the family will have to be learned from and played out but the child is almost a by stander and a pawn in this drama and yes I know he signed on for this, but then if we are not meant to participate in life why did our creator give us these gifts and talents? I don’t have the answers but I will never stop asking the questions because this is how we all raise our levels of consciousness and this is what we are here to do.
WHERE TO START
Soni Weiss, Ph.D., CH
May 17, 2016
After years of studying I have come to the conclusion that we came into this dimension with one purpose. That purpose is to raise our personal level of consciousness and in doing so we raise the level of consciousness of the entire planet. But where do we even begin to do this?
The work of Dr. David R. Hawkins who created the map of the level of consciousness in Power vs. Force shows us that the vast majority of the world is living in the lower fear based levels. Survival is the mode for millions upon millions of people, so if you are reading this article you are truly among the chosen few. I know this is often hard to grasp when we look at our lives and see war and poverty and pestilence around us but it is true. You are reading this on a computer so you have access to electricity somewhere, something millions of people would be very very grateful for and a computer too.
How do we begin to raise our levels of conscious? Contemplating ones navel on a mountain side is not necessary. We can start by some simple steps; being grateful for what we have is one. We may have a debts and obligations and health problems true and if we do it means we are alive and have a mind that can figure this out. Be grateful for that. We can always find something to be grateful for. Maybe it can be that the roof didn’t leak in the rain storm last night….be grateful; it could have. You got out of bed this morning and walked to the bathroom (you have one) and I know several people who would be infinitely grateful to be able to walk anywhere. The simple first step of counting your blessing, your gratefulness inventory is a good place to consciously start to raise your levels of consciousness.
A second step is finding something nice to say to five people today and each day. Someone put up a small sticker on the mirror in our bathroom at work that said “you are beautiful”. Silly little thing and you know it wasn’t put up there just for you but when you look at it and read it, you can’t help but feel pretty, happier for a few moments. You feel good about yourself even if you know you look awful with your hair drooping from too much humidity. I wonder how many other people have had a minute of feeling good about themselves from a stranger’s simple act. Everyone appreciates a compliment, even a little one, or an extra thank you. Let people know how much you appreciate what they do.
How many hugs did you give today? I had a Hospice volunteer trainer tell me she thought you needed at least ten hugs a day to stay healthy. When was the last time you really hugged someone? Go do it and see how good it feels. Allow yourself to really enjoy a hug and don’t be the first to let go because you feel awkward, you will get over it. Everyone loves a good hugger and if you don’t you need to find out why and fix that. Hugs are free, they can be joyous moments in our day that gives us that extra boost.
As Oprah Winfrey promotes, do a random act of kindness every day. Do whatever you can. Hold a door, give someone with a child crying your space in line so she can out sooner, benefiting the whole line.
There is an old saying in South that goes “happiness is wanting what you have, no necessarily having what you want”. By appreciating and being grateful for whatever we have we open the door wider to allow more abundance to enter our lives. We push out fear from our lives when we practice appreciation and gratefulness and recognize we co-create our reality. Our grandmother was right when she said “you reap what you soe”. So soe your crop of gratefulness and appreciation and see it grow.
HOLDING THE SPACE
Soni Weis Ph.D., CH
Jan 17, 2016
HOLDING THE SPACE
I have often heard people say “holding the space” and I always thought of it as a greeting sort of phrase. Just last week someone left the Golden Lighthouse gathering and their parting words were “Thank you for holding the space” and I thought it a bit, well, dramatic, a way of getting attention, see me I am spiritual. Most folks just say Thanks, enjoyed the coffee and conversation or something more on that line.
Being empath that I am I have found the last couple of weeks, with all the military unrest along with the humanitarian and medical disasters taking place to be physically upsetting to my world. Life is always about us when you get down to it which is not always bad or selfish.
I keep trying to understand the “why” of it all…find some reason, some sense to the pain and desolation so many people are facing. I am a 22/4 the master builder, the kind of person who came into this world to find solutions and of course the master co-dependent if I let myself get into the negativity of the 2. I want to help, I want to be of service, someway, somehow to help alleviate all this pain and suffering. I kept asking myself what can I do….sure give more money to the charities who are out there in the midst of it…and God Bless each and every one of them…and I do ..yet this doesn’t alleviate the feeling that I personally need to do something. What can one person do? As an individual how do I change the world? So many young people have passed through the Lighthouse doors asking this same question…..knowing they are a Light Worker and not knowing what to do….and I didn’t have a good answer for them. I kept looking for answers. I like to think of myself as a Doberman or a German Shepherd but I guess not a pure bred as there is obviously a little rat terrier in there as once I get onto something I just can’t seem to give up until I find an answer.
The answer has been coming to me in pieces and I am getting the picture now. I have seen the pieces for a long time but just able to put them together. Certainly, as I said I can share my material abundance with those in dire need. Then I head the President talking the morning news and he was talking about long term plans in the middle east and he used the words “hold the space” and it started coming together.
The only thing any of us can control is how we choose to respond to anything that comes into our lives…control ourselves. I can’t change the world as an individual. No one can. But….if I change myself, if I be keeping working at being the highest spiritual person I can be, ethically, morally; and if all of us do this, then the world will be changed. It is like the power of the ocean. The ocean is made up of individual drops of water but there are so many of them that it appears to be a great mass and so is the human race. If I resonate at my highest level and stay there then I am holding the space, making safe place as an example that others can feel safe emulating. I, you , can’t fight someone else battles, we all have to find our own way but we can shed light on the path of others, give support, and teach and help and we don’t have to have survivors guilt or depression which only sucks up negative energy and doesn’t help anyone. In Tarot it is the Hermit, he who knows himself who is holding the light up, creating a safe place along the unseen road, and reminding us to learn from the past.
Holding the space is creating a safe space, a place of neutrality and non-judgment.... so that we can find solutions. We are always making judgments…we can’t help it….we wouldn’t learn if we didn’t. It’s not the judgment, it the guilt and punishment that is not useful. We are not going to solve any problem by judging it in the sense of right and wrong. There is plenty of history of wrongs on all sides. What we want to do is find outcomes that work for everyone….we can’t change the past. Those of us who are Light workers need to shed that light….learn to be the one who sees both sides of the story and holds the space so we can make changes in our world. We have to say to ourselves, whatever choices we make has to be for the “good of the all” .
We All Need Help from Our Friends
Soni Weiss, Ph.D, CH
November 22, 2015
Before the psychic sampler yesterday Joy came over to do a healing/clearing on me. The results from my last blood work was not good and I did a session with Linda that was really outstanding, reconnecting feelings with actions so to speak…parts work…and my eating has been 500% improved and I learned an important lesson on how to do parts work for my clients to make it more effective.
Joy is a shaman and uses Indian guides and spirits which is a different technique I had not experienced before. Normally I am impatient with rituals, I want to get to the meat of it so to speak…we all know patience’s has not been one of my virtues…the drumming I don’t care for some reason normally, makes me a little uneasy and I don’t know why but …any port in a storm they say so I go with the flow.
We used the room upstairs with the high bed/table and the dogs checked everything out and went off, probably to my bedroom and the 4 in of memory foam they so love…Joy closed the door to keep them out and began. Not long after she started the drumming and using the rattles over me I felt an energy swelling up and out of my body…my eyes were closed and I had totally relaxed myself. In my mind’s eye so to speak I could see my energy coming, flowing, from my body in the form of a stream that narrows into a thin channel going upward, maybe as being sucked out, like a vacuum would draw spilled salt from a spill on the floor say…. Joy then started speaking…addressing an energy form and saying she didn’t need to know its name but it needed to go to the light and didn’t belong with me and to go on….chanted a bit and my visual disappeared….interesting as she did this I could hear Fred charging down the hall (at 145 lbs you can hear him move) burst through the door…(he knows how to open the doors if not locked locked) and started sniffing me…she assured him I was o.k. and he left. She then went over my body lightly touching me here and there and doing some chanting…I did not have any more visuals.
She told me after the process that she sent several energy sources to the light….took a rope off my throat…which is interesting as whenever I lie down I feel like there is a hand pushing down on my throat which I had just credited to my being fat and big boobs….although I did have my head chopped off in a previous life time. She said that there was a large gash across my upper chest which she healed. She thought this was from a guillotine but it was lower than most she sees….holes in both my palms, and other traumas which she sent off to the light and healed. I am an old soul and have regressed to many life time’s myself with plenty of traumatic deaths from sharp objects and when we have cleared those, taken the javelins out and healed the wounds chronic pain has disappeared in those areas so I am very curious to see the results in the upcoming days. Linda always says I am in my head all the time, well maybe it’s because it kept getting separated from my body lolllllllll
At any rate I awoke this morning feeling lighter, less dense is maybe a better word, it feels good however one explains it. Since she removed shackles from my ankles I am wondering if my foot pain will improve. I know when I take off this extra weight that a lot of my minor-semi minor health issues will clear up. And with Linda’s work and now Joys help I think that is do-able. I kept sabotaging myself. And I have to thank Joan Fowler with the reconnection work because I am letting people help me…learning to receive.
Maybe this is all crazy, I am nuts but I am functional. My litmus test is..”how’s that working for you” as long as it does no harm go for it…God knows I see a considerable amount of damage from conventional medicine and wisdom at my day job…we create our reality and the placebo effect works; that’s hard science. We have such a great group of healers around us, I hope everyone will take advantage of these gifts that have been brought to us.
I think those dear souls who are reincarnated social workers have more of a hard time understanding we are Light workers and that it is our job to shine light on their path so they have information and get clarity to make their own choices which includes healing themselves. I will make a bet that those who come in as empaths probably spent a good many times as nuns or priests being indoctrinated with sacrifice and suffering and think they are supposed to take on the problem of the client but forgetting this does not allow the spiritual healing to take place that the person came in for. When you think about it, it is a bit arrogant to think we can do anything else and trying to take on their burdens. …I see this with the young psychic coming in confused not knowing what to do with their gifts. We are Light Workers, we shine light so the person can get clarity, and our creator gave us Free Choice, not our job to fix them, only they can fix themselves. Joy, Linda, Joanne opened the door and shined the light so that healing could take place…and healing is done in its own time. We can hold the space, open a door, send in some extra energy but the healing is done by the person themselves.
Soni Weiss, Ph.D. CH
I should like to talk to you about weeds…..now one would not think of “weeds” as a particularly metaphysical or spiritually enlightening topic at first glance but trust me on this one.
In front of my study window is a bird feeder and I get a nice crowd coming and going especially in the off seasons, winter through spring, when food is not aplenty. Well not being toilet trained the guys leave a little something behind here and there, and the wind blows all sorts of items into my flower beds and pots which for years I pulled out of the soil, keeping only that which I had knowingly planted. I had control of what was in my flower beds and pretty much knew what to expect then.
Well a couple of seasons ago I picked up a couple of those flower mats seeded with all sort of flowers when they went on end of season sale and stored them in the garage until spring whereupon I laid them out in the flower bed, wetted them down properly and figured nature would take its course, which it promptly did with a wind storm that night which took the mats to my neighbor’s yard. Humph…so much for that and I planted my usual arrangement of marigolds and germaniums. Some rainy days and watering days later the weeds started showing up….some I recognized as baby trees and milk weed and pulled those and others I just left…I don’t know why. I felt adventurous and I let the weeds grow and was really tempted to pull some of them as they got fairly tall and then one day flowers started appearing to my surprise; lovely little flowers of all shapes and colors. Sort of messed up my nice neat design of the flower bed but they were just so pretty. Made me a little edgy that some of the tall ones were out front when they should have been at the back with shorter ones in front of them but I restrained myself and did not prune nor shape…it was hard believe me…and winter came as it always does and they were gone.
Spring always follows winter and I planted my usual gold and red flowers and the weeds started coming up and I started to pull them and thought give it a shot, live on the edge and see what comes up and restrained myself from tidying up the flower beds fortunately as all sort of new ground cover with tiny and delicate flowers grew out of those little weeds and four great sunflowers appeared in one of the pots on the porch. I didn’t know what they were until they started to bloom, and they are big weedy looking plants and not particularly pretty and I was really tempted to pull them up and so glad I didn’t. Now there is this lovely plant with what looks like yellow daisies in the island in the lawn. I didn’t plant it but the bees are here now eating up its nectar and some other purple flower plant that might be some sort of clover, I don’t know what it is, but they like it. What I do know is the bees are not touching my geraniums or marigolds I bought from the nursery.
So you ask what the heck weeds has to do with anything. Well, it has to do with taking chances, of giving something different an opportunity to prove itself, of getting out our rut and seeing how something different could be just as good if not better than what we were doing before. It’s about giving and receiving. I feed the birds for selfish reasons…I like looking at them, and they in return, be it intentional or not, seeded my garden for me and brought me even more pleasure. It’s about letting things unfold before us and finding we might just get more than we expected if we don’t rush to judge so quickly. Take a chance and let some weeds into your garden of life and who knows what you might find. We are all creations of God so are there really any weeds when you think of it?
WHAT IS A LIGHTWORKER
Soni Weiss Ph.D, CH
Jan 23, 2015
In the last year many people have said to to me, “I feel like I have a gift” but I don’t know what I am supposed to do with it” and they will go on to tell me they are am empath or can predict events sometimes or occasionally see or hear things. Somehow they got the impression they are supposed to do something extraordinary with these heightened awareness and because they are not they feel more or less guilty, as if they are letting someone, something down.
Being a light worker is something everyone can do…we all have a light within us, it is the connection we have with our higher source of being, it is our own unique aspect of the One that is all, it shines particularly bright when we coming from our higher self.
Our job is not to fix people and their problems, our job is to shine light so that people recognize they can find their own answers and solution and help themselves. I think you will agree if you reflect on it, that a great deal of your personal learning came from examples, those people in your life who either through good or bad example molded your beliefs and behavior. That great teacher or couch or parent who stimulated your mind and creativity, who encouraged and supported you was a light worker….he or she giving and teaching what he had to share so you could see in the darkness.
I talked to a young woman who worked with special needs children and she was an empath and could tell how the children were feeling and thinking….she knew she had a gift of some kind but didn’t know what to do with it, she really didn’t want to be a psychic or read cards…. And I said to her use your gift girl….you have language, words to express the thoughts and feelings these children do not….be the go between with them and their parents. You can teach them to communicate. Shine light….into darkness.
Yes there are some very evolved and talented souls that come back to make turning point changes in the world….in our lifetime Einstein, Hawkins, King, Gates, Job, Gandhi, Pope Francis, true….but most change starts with the individual who decides he will raise his vibration as high as he can and walk his talk and stand up and stand out by his behavior and conviction and shine his light on ignorance and hatred and injustice. If you just change one man and he changes another and then are two and those two change two more and they each change two more, it just goes on forever and it will never be the same world.
Think about this…..there is no darkness if just one candle is shining. Put a million candles together and you light the world.
Just be the best you can be and you have done what you were sent here for. .
One good man
Soni Weiss, CH
May 2, 2015
When the Rev. Jamal Bryant of Baltimore, Md. said things are overwhelming he spoke for many of us, black, brown, white. So much to do and so many in need. I watched the news this a.m. while doing my exercises and listened to the articulate Rev. Bryant and for the first time I really heard on a level I had not before. Is it the good Rev. or is the collective consciousness being articulated through him and all the other sincere good men and woman who have fought for justice over the years…probably some of both….but it is his voice that has forced me to reevaluate my filters, my unrecognized subtle prejudices and saw that I am a product of my upbringing and environment just as everyone else is including the rioters, the protestors and the police.
Prejudice is not just about color or nationality…I realized that it was never questioned in my Irish Catholic background that the police were wrong…..even though I knew on an intellectual level there was injustice… I grew up in Los Angeles with gangs and violence they were more frightening than the police ….when I was kidnapped from a drug store lunch counter as a small child it was a policeman who rescued me; when a man tried to entice from a movie theatre at six it was a policeman who again took care of me…my relationship with the police has always been positive…these memories have always been my filters.
It was so easy to get angry at the rioters who burned the CVS and the senior center…so easy to enjoy the moralistic outrage that made us feel better about ourselves and distracted us from the real issues which Rev. Bryant kept bringing us back to …. yes it is wrong to burn down a building and it is not under any conditions acceptable period! but we can’t be deter from the issue at hand. We must not let a few angry people with no impulse control CONTROL US. Rev. Bryant and Robert Valentine and the mother whose name I don’t know showed us that the only way the world will change is one person at a time doing what they are capable of doing. They have left a lasting impression on my life.
Understanding where any man comes from does not mean you accept their destructive behavior….it does mean you have a lot better chance of finding a working solution. Anger may start the ball rolling, provide the initial burst of energy but anger and recrimination does not solve problems it is clear thinking of good men and woman who have the capacity to see the larger picture who do. I know there are hundreds of people out there whose name I do not know who are stepping up to the plate and showing leadership, it is only Rev. Bryant whose name I know. Martin Luther King didn’t do his work by himself.
So what can I do, what can you do? We can raise our level of consciousness, real consciousness and admit we have filters and we have to work a little harder at seeing where people are coming from….and that means blacks, browns, whites Christians, Muslim….we all have filters. Evil exists when good men do nothing…well good men and woman have stepped up and just maybe some great ones….and we can help by reevaluating our attitudes of social liberalism which sometimes are just exercises in ego and moralism. If any of us were perfect we would not be in this dimension, so we all have housecleaning to do
Being of Service – Two by Fours
Soni Weiss June 22, 2014
As you may know I still practice respiratory therapy in the hospital setting.
How many people do you know that can honestly say, I love my job Not that it isn’t hard sometimes and occasionally frustrating but because it gives me so much opportunity to see miracles of spirit. Lord knows there is plenty of opportunity in a hospital to see pain and sorrow, yet that is an opportunity to see miracles, to give back what has been given to you. Pay it forward, so to speak.
A while back a woman came into ICU from the O.R. with a colon that had ruptured and was on the ventilator. It was touch and go for along time, an eternity for her and her husband that is for sure. You just get one infection cleared up and something else happened, then she got pneumonia. Having your colon leak into your abdomen is not good and hard to treat. The wonder drugs are not wondrous any more with the new strain of bugs that have evolved and they, themselves, are harder on your system.
Her husband confided in me that she was one of those woman who was concerned always about how she looked, a woman he said and she dieted a lot so she had no reserve weight, and that colostomy bag hanging on her side which she now defecated into was going to be a bummer when she woke up and then they had to open her up again for an abscess and the scars were going to be there, large, ugly, forever.
When we finally woke her up, we keep you in a coma state when you are this sick and on a ventilator, her depression was palatable. We still did not know if she was going to make it; she turned for the worse again. Some nurses are always encouraging patients; we talk to them even when under the influence of drugs as the subconscious mind is always alert. Sometimes I talk and sometimes I don’t. There are patients I just leave alone, and I can not tell you why. I have one at the moment, actually, something tells me it is not the time to talk to that one and so I don’t. She is not ready, so I just do my job and leave the room. But this one I talked to using those ways, that my co workers calls Soni’ s thing. They will call me and say Soni go in there and talk to them, calm them down, do something. So I talked to this patient telling her body knew how to heal, to run the programs of making new tissue, to thank her body for it’s wonderful strength in keeping her alive, that it was not letting her down, it was in fact fighting a battle and winning, she could remember how remember to be well.
We began waking her up more frequently and for longer periods of time. It’s hard for most people to understand how weak you can get in such a short period of time; she could not even lift her hand and she was depressed as anyone would be and angry. I could feel that anger and I talked to her about that. Anger uses up a great deal of energy. I knew about this first hand, you see, because I felt all this when I was so sick several years back when I lost my hearing and I went into that illness being very strong, she wasn’t so it had to be worse. I held her hand and channeled energy as I spoke to her one day and she cried and I knew something had shifted. She had a tube in her neck now as she had been tracked and she could not speak to me but I knew, as tears rolled down her face something had happened, and it did, as something in her spirit changed. She started to help herself and it was hard work for her. It was two steps forward and one step back for the next couple of weeks.
It is a month later and she is ready to leave us and go to rehab. She still has the trach but she has a talking valve and she will get rid of that as soon as she gets her strength back, as she is eating now. She laughs a lot and has joy in her life. Now I know it’s hard to think of having joy in your life with a trach tube in your throat and not being able to get out of bed yet, but she does. She is not the woman who was rolled into that room. She is now on a new path, and although she may never like the way her stomach looks, I don’t think it makes that much difference any more. She has learned a lot about, herself, and the true values of life, albeit the hard way, but she admits she, like many of us, present company included, often has to be hit by the proverbial 2×4 to get out attention.
We found out that her husband business is not doing well, and in fact his church was giving him money for gasoline so he could come and see her, and they were concerned that he was not eating regularly. I worked with a great group of women, let me tell you. When they found that out everyone brought in food and they gave him bags and bags of food to take home. I know he too has learned some real spiritual lessons.
You know you don’t pay much attention to 2×4’s but when you really think about it they are the foundation of the brick and mortar house you live in and after you get hit by the proverbial ones they become the foundation of the road less traveled and the one we must all traverse.
Another Name for Energy?
Soni Weiss CH
November 25, 2014
I do not know if there is a God as in a being and how then how does one define the word anyway? More words than time has been spent on this discussion and how does one prove any of the definitions, really? How many people have died over this concept, trying to prove their definition is right and yours is wrong? We call ourselves civilized and we are still killing each other over words.
Maybe, just maybe if we opened up the possibilities of energy of some sort that connects us all then we might find life a bit more peaceful. Can we open ourselves up to other labels of other ways of thinking without being disloyal to all we have been taught and believe in?
Our ancestors believed in an energy and maybe they had something going for them. Maybe if we attuned to the energy it would serve us well. There is a seventy foot oak in my front yard that I am looking at as I type…it is alive, it grows, how do I know it doesn’t communicate with all the other trees on my block….how do my dogs somehow know when I am coming home and sit at the door even though I am not on a schedule; how do they know that the UPS man is around the corner when they are in the closed up house and can’t see beyond the curve in the cul de sac?….they know…the electric lights work and I don’t see it or this network I am on, so why should I doubt there is a grid of some sort that connects us all?
Not all of us get the opportunity to see how we are inter-connected as much as those who work in life and death situations on a regular basis or those that get thrown into them. This holiday week once again I was reminded of the connection. As you may or may not know I am a respiratory therapist and have worked in a hospitals for many years now.
On Thanksgiving Day I wore my traditional turkey gobbler hat as I made my rounds of the patients who had to stay in the hospital, getting smiles and laughter, doing what I could to bring some joy into what could be a dismal day for those who wanted to be with friends and family. I sent out a photo of me in my hat to friends captioned “savings lives on Thanksgiving”. It was basically a good day all considered. The next day was a different story, hardly getting out of report when the emergencies started and it was one right after another.
I hit the floor way behind as was everyone else because of the emergencies when a young nurse came up to me and said did I think X drug, although only a daily maintenance drug would help her patient as the patients breathing had changed? The patient was a in her 90’s with a Do Not Resuscitate Order who had been waiting to be discharged when I saw her the day before, laughing and talking so I had put her at the end of my list for her once a day maintenance drug as I had other patients that need their every four hr. meds. I told the nurse I would get to the patient shortly; she was at the other end of the hall where I was starting from.
How many times has this happened over the past 20+ yrs.; a decision, a choice, where do you start, which hall do you start with and that choice changes someone’s life. The voice in my head said, why not just start at that end of the hall and work back; look at the old girl first and I did. The patient was alert to command and I asked her how she felt and she said “badly all over” and I asked her if she had felt this way before and she said “NO” and ! I knew we were in trouble right then. The patients know but they don’t know what or why. This was not my patient from the day before and the choice was made and the system was put in motion as she started to fade away on me. Later in the day I said to the patient whose status had changed dramatically, you are looking better and she said to me, “I died this morning” and I said well, you were not looking good there for a while, (trying to be a bit on the lighter side), and she said, “oh no, I was going over this morning, and then someone came and told me that I had to come back”. I said to her “well the nurse came and saw you and it was probably her” and the patient said “no it was not her who called me back”. She then said to me, “I was not ready to die, I had asked God to let me live through the Holidays, I didn’t want to die during the Holidays and I thought he had let me down” and I said “well, I guess he has granted your wish, you know he works through others” and she said “oh yes, I have lived long enough to know that, really, I know that well enough”.
This was all about choices, from all of us, the nurse even though young and inexperienced with the patient alert and talking felt something wasn’t quite right. She could have waited to see what would happen, as I said the morning had been one emergency after another; she didn’t and in turn I chose to put the patient at the top of the list with no really good reason.
Now science will tell you the chemical changes in your body can cause hallucinations and so forth and I am sure that is true…..and I am convinced, had we not intervened, that woman would have been dead the next time someone walked in the room. 40 yrs. old maybe not, at 90 something you don’t have a lot of reserve.
Maybe if we all stopped using our RAM drive, our conscious minds, and connected a little with our hard drives, our unconscious minds, where centuries of DNA and learning and communication is stored we might have some better outcomes. Maybe we could find that universal grid easier.
Is there a God….I don’t know…but something, some energy was talking to all of us on Friday.
Creditability and Trust
May 21, 2012
I have been thinking about creditability. It really is an important concept which we don’t think about much unless it is related to getting a loan. Yet we do a lot of investing in people and never think about their credit score. Now trust is one of the most valuable possessions we own. Times, trust, love, are possessions in a sense. I want you to start thinking of them that way. Would you give your Mercedes to someone you just met and know nothing about; hopefully not. (If you would, then call me for a free ½ consultation, LOL.) Yet many of us will give our trust and love to people who have not proven their worthiness or we don’t trust anyone at all because we have been stung in the past and isolate ourselves.
We all come into this world helpless. All we can do is yell and kick around ineffectively. Think about it. We know hunger, pain, fear; survival is our goal and that is what THE mission of our unconscious mind, to keep us alive. As infants we have no other choice; we lack the ability to care for ourselves, there is no choice but to trust that our caretakers will in fact care for us. So we make that 100% investment of trust; we have no other choice; so be it through deed or word the caretakers’ values, opinion, and word become ours; the law. And at that time, when that inner voice, actually the emotion of fear, said if you don’t do this you are going to die, it was probably true. Under the circumstances this was a good strategy, you are reading this….it worked.
Circumstances are different now, you need a new strategy. The basic of survival have been learned, although some of us don’t recognize it, even though it is obvious as this article is being read on a computer….therefore your ability to learn is validated. This is really important….YOU KNOW HOW TO LEARN. You have been doing it for years and what you don’t know you can and will learn. You don’t have to keep giving blind creditability/trust to others so they will continue to take care of you…..you have and will continue to learn how to care for yourself and others. Maybe you’re not at the level you would like, but you’re not dead…right? RIGHT ! That is a freeing thought!
Some of us learned we couldn’t trust people, so we stopped all together, and others just kept hoping things would change and neither of those strategies works well. Man is a pack animal; we are not lone wolves, we live in families, we live in communities, we work as a group. A pack! You want to learn how to trust….go to a dog park. (Yes, I am nuts, she is talking about dog training you say, but I am functional and I solve problems…so read on)…..A pup will run into a pack of other dogs and be Happy Dog…pups are always happy and think everyone should play with them, they are learning through play what the boundaries are, (no one knows boundaries until they hit someone else’s or fall off the cliff, be you dog or man)….that is what children do; this is how boundaries are learned, by pushing them, which is why teenagers can be so such pains to their parents. Now some of the older dogs may play with them and some will growl and some will bite and the pup will learn that if you don’t want to get growled at and bitten he better move into a new situation in a more controlled manner. Now an older wiser dog will walk into the yard and look around and see who the alpha dogs are and will move in cautiously… do a little sniffing here and there and if someone growls at him he decides if he wants to stand his ground or move on. He will continue to do this until he knows the measure of all the dogs in the pack and he will learn his place and who he can trust and who he can’t.
That’s all you have to do…. let’s put it in a more refined way. You learn to be a good investor. A good investor doesn’t just plop his hard earned cash down on an investment without looking into it. Warren Buffet didn’t get rich being a Happy Dog. A good investor knows you don’t invest more than you can afford to lose!!! You don’t go about investing more in people than you can afford to lose either. (You had no choice with your caretakers but you are no longer a pup and you have choices now). You invest a little trust and see how it’s dealt with ….extend a little credit and see how it’s handled and if it’s paid back and if that works, well then you give them a little more credit; invest a bit more and see how that works, and you keep increasing the line of credit, never giving more than you can afford to lose. Now some people will have a small line of credit and some none at all. You will know how much you can depend on them, and what they can afford to handle. Some people are just getting by themselves and asking more of them then they can handle is setting you both up for failure, just like the banks did with the mortgage lending practices that got us all in this jam.
Even if you are looking for an annuity, someone to take care of you, you still have to be a wise investor. Does that person have the resources to take care of you? It’s your life and you can do with it what you want…. Sure you can invest more than you can afford to lose, like playing the lottery, it’s exciting and you have about as much chance of winning as you do at the lottery or you can put in some effort and learn to be an investor …. my motto is you can do whatever you want as long as your willing to accept the consequences of your behavior.
Soni Weiss, CH
June 2, 2012
I have a friend and mentor who was born with a rare muscle wasting disease which forced her to travel that road less traveled, the one that leads us to our higher soul. Now she sees her wheel chair and her disease as a vehicle to help her spirit to evolve…she went through anger and self pity; lot of pain with her disease. She periodically weans herself back on her pain medication so not be come addicted as she takes a lot pain killers for her constant physical pain, when others would just take more and somehow she has found peace in her life…..now she coaches and counsels even though she has limited energy to spare, always there for anyone who needs support.
When I was young I use to think that only perfect people could lead…somehow by never been scarred, having fallen that they would have the correct answer; the beautiful, the talented, the illusionary in reality, would have the answers and many years of living have taught me the truth….. just the opposite. It is the battle scarred often mongrel dog who won the fight, not the lovely Bichon…… survivors are just that…they went through the experience and survived and with their hard won wisdom can teach it to others…when we help others heal we in turn heal ourselves; everything is interconnected…..and those of us that have reached the crest of the mountain did so because of someone reaching out a hand to us, literally or figuratively, and we in turn reach out ours to pull someone a little further up, and by doing this it actually stabilizes our position…..by giving we receive even if we do not realize it.
We all have to make our own journey. Others can shed light along our paths so it is easier to see the pot holes, and the boulders that will inevitably be along it. I use to think the dark night of the soul was a night, a single event, a climactic turning point, but now I realize it is a journey too. Some peoples darkness is not so complete as they allow others to shine their light, while others choose to stumble and fall because for whatever reason they think they have to do it the hard way , carry all of anger and pain with then, not realizing all we have to do is let it go of this useless baggage, and move on; it is we who make it hard….this is a self imposed trial.